i don't get it

I generally consider myself to be a somewhat intelligent woman. This belief is always dropped like a bad habit whenever I face the great leveler of human life: the department store. Yes, it's true; I am completely incapable of navigating a department store. Every corner looks the same, every section looks like the one I just came from, and somehow, after wandering aimlessly through the asthma-provoking perfume section in the middle of the store, I always end up back at the lingerie section, never able to find that illusive mall-entrance. How do people do it? How do people make their way through the endless mannequins and shelves piled high with stockings (of all things!)? Is the mall-entrance really just a wicked rumor, cruelly giving false hope to dazed shoppers such as myself? Last week I was forced into a department store to buy something for my brother's wedding--it's a miracle I'm not still lost, doomed to wander the Hudson's Bay Company for the rest of my natural life.