sunday's conclusion

I came to an unexpected realization today. I've been wondering why I've been feeling a little bit blah lately. There's been so many changes in my life of late that I thought it must be connected to that, but it didn't really seem to add up. Yes, I got married--big change--but I really like being married, and I totally feel like I've adjusted to it well (so far!). But I think I figured it out today. It's not some great grand thing, though. I think I'm bored. I'm used to juggling a dozen different things, and that was magnified tenfold when I was planning my own wedding! I'm used to having a lot of projects on the go, going to meetings, planning youth events, running back and forth to church, trying to find time to spend with my fiance, driving from place to place just so we could see each other, and so on and so on and so on. I enjoyed my complicated little life. But now I go to work, I come home exhausted, I eat dinner with my husband, I make my lunch, I go to bed, and seven hours later I get up and do the exact same thing.

Maybe I'm just trying to adjust to a post-workaholic life. I made a concerted effort to cut back on things because I was running myself ragged and getting sick all the time, and, if I hadn't, I never would have had time for a boyfriend-then-fiance-then-husband. And I'm not sorry that I don't work myself to death anymore. But I really wish I had some kind of project--something that I could get excited about and plan and organize, 'cause those are two of my favourite things. But I really don't seem to have time for anything like that, and I definitely don't seem to have the energy. Being bored and being busy at the same time is quite the paradox.