the masked marauder

so i'm sitting at the computer the other night, minding my own business, my cats at my feet, when i hear a noise from the other side of the room. i peer around the couch and i see, just inside my back door, a raccoon. inside my house. i had left the back door open so my cats could come in, and apparently he followed, hoping for some food. now, having heard a raccoon kill a dog (a rather unpleasant experience, i assure you), i'm well aware that they're not the nicest animals, and he's much bigger than my cats (not to mention the fact that he's also much bigger than my feet, which i would prefer not to have claw marks on). he backed away a bit when he saw me, and I started yelling at him and making as much noise as I could, and he finally went outside far enough for me to close the door. now, you should know that one of my cats is very much an outdoor cat and doesn't like being in the house, especially when she's scared. so she's completely freaking out about the fact that i closed the door, meowing with the greatest of gusto, begging me to let her outside. and the raccoon refuses to leave. so now the evening becomes a little more ridiculous. i'm hucking everything i can at this stupid raccoon to try to get it to leave--a tin can, a big metal watering can, a couple of shoes (sorry dad, hope you didn't like those ones too much). i have to say, he wasn't too impressed by my efforts (after being hit with the watering can he started rolling it around and playing with it). finally he got bored and left. for the rest of the night, everything i saw out of the corner of my eye looked like a raccoon ready to pounce on me. the masked marauder has bested me once again.