nothing says Christmas like crappy music
I went to the craft store today, where I discovered that Christmas has already come. I double-checked my calendar and discovered that, yes, it is still November 13th and not December 13th, but I guess the Twelve Days of Christmas is really the Twelve Weeks of Christmas now. I can handle all the lights, I can handle all the reindeer, and I can definitely handle all the baked goodies, but there is one thing about Christmas in the West that just makes my stomach churn: the music. I cannot believe that in the 21st century, we still listen to songs with sophisticated lyrics like "giddy yup, giddy yup, giddy yup". I think the worst I ever heard was a medley of Jingle Bells and that classic Yuletide tune, Tequila. On my old blog I once posted some musical suggestions for the retailers of Canada. Since they seem to have paid me no heed, I once again emplore them with the following suggestions:
Music should be limited to songs written before 1950 with the following exceptions:
Music should be limited to songs written before 1950 with the following exceptions:
- Bing Crosby
- Harry Connick Jr.
- Music appearing in the Charlie Brown Christmas Special ('cause Vince Guaraldi kicks)
There will be no sleigh bells jingling, nor any ring-ting-tingling, and under no circumstances will there be any friends calling "yoohoo".
And please, in the name of all that is Christmas, NO REMIXES!!! Bing Crosby was not meant to 'get jiggy' with anything.
posted by julia at 2:53 p.m.
4 Comments:
Yoohoo! Friend!
I think we just cut the crap and go ahead and call it the 12 months of Christmas. That will avoid much confusion, surprise and also complaining.
PG
so Jules, it would appear that the rediscovered fondness for "Christian Kitsch" in visual art does not extend to music for you eh? That's OK, I'm with you, my friend. Unless of course one of my sweet little offspring or adorable nieces are doing the jingling - then suddenly all is redeemed!
I would add one more to your list:
All Amy Grant Christmas albums should be burned into heaps of ashes.
From someone who worked in a Christian bookstore for 7 years and heard Amy Grant calling "Yoo-hoo" waaaaaaaay too many times.
Thanks for letting me rant :)
Hiya Julia,
Just checking in from London, ON where the snow lies heavy on the ground. I could not agree more with your rant on Christmas music. Most of it such crap and I can't handle the celeb albums such as 'An 'N Sync Christmas' or Mariah's hunk of garbage album, not to mention Amy Grant (yes, her seasonal albums suck!). Keep preaching, because you have a congregant out here in Ontario. Cheers...
Post a Comment
<< Home