I went to the craft store today, where I discovered that Christmas has already come. I double-checked my calendar and discovered that, yes, it is still November 13th and not December 13th, but I guess the Twelve Days of Christmas is really the Twelve Weeks of Christmas now. I can handle all the lights, I can handle all the reindeer, and I can definitely handle all the baked goodies, but there is one thing about Christmas in the West that just makes my stomach churn: the music. I cannot believe that in the 21st century, we still listen to songs with sophisticated lyrics like "giddy yup, giddy yup, giddy yup". I think the worst I ever heard was a medley of Jingle Bells and that classic Yuletide tune, Tequila. On my old blog I once posted some musical suggestions for the retailers of Canada. Since they seem to have paid me no heed, I once again emplore them with the following suggestions:
Music should be limited to songs written before 1950 with the following exceptions:
- Bing Crosby
- Harry Connick Jr.
- Music appearing in the Charlie Brown Christmas Special ('cause Vince Guaraldi kicks)
There will be no sleigh bells jingling, nor any ring-ting-tingling, and under no circumstances will there be any friends calling "yoohoo".
And please, in the name of all that is Christmas, NO REMIXES!!! Bing Crosby was not meant to 'get jiggy' with anything.